I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Found your dick twin last night
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
