We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
