I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
