I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
