am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
