dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
