she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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