I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
40s are totally the cure
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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