Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
