i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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