im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That accounts for only three of the penises
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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