dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
