i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize