Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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