have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
