I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
