two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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