so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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