i don't like sucking hair
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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