Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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