if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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