Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
