Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
