well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize