one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
