I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
