Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
