I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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