Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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