Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
