I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
