Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
