Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The Olympian is in my bed
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
