never play flip cup with pint glasses
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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