I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
