i permit you to call me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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