it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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