Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
