dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I got inside last night via doggy door
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
