We won't sleep together?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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