we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
