Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
