butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
