Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
