i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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