i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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