have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
