i just had sex bonerless
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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