Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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