Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
