Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize