I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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