I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
