His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
