Already got asked if we're dating
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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