i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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