Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
porn star boner night. come get it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
