I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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