he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
