True but thats because hes a fetus.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
