Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize