New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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