Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
