I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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