What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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