addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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