Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
